Talking

Most people seems to enjoy talking, or at least this is how it comes across to me. I generally find it difficult to correctly judge social situations so it might not be completely accurate, but this is how it appears. People, when they spend time together, conversate.

People talk a lot.

I am a highly verbal person, but mostly in writing. By writing, I do not mean written conversation either – I do not think I am that great in it – but one-sided streams of thoughts. Essays are pretty great, unless the topic is something I need to force myself to write about. I am also a poet and creative writer, so that does not require too much explanation. When it comes to talking out loud. I do not really mind if I have to explain something in one longer stream of spoken text. Discussions are also fine, as long as the partner(s) give enough space and time to articulate an argument. When I am continuously cut off, I stop the discussion altogether, or at least, stop engaging.  I have grown out of this by now, but when I was younger, I used to have a really aggressive manner of arguing that I have developed out of necessity, coming from an environment where I would be surrounded by highly intelligent and educated people (mostly males) in the context of a culture with a lot more overt sense of male entitlement than here in the UK. (I just want to cut it short. You might argue men are super entitled here too. Yes, they are, but you have most likely not lived in eastern Europe, so you do not know the extent of misogyny there.)

When it comes to conversation, I do not really enjoy being the one who talks, I prefer listening to what they have to say. A good way to put it would be is that I find PEOPLE more interesting than the INTERACTION with people. I like interaction when I am not involved, but I am an observer of others.

It does not mean, of course, that I never talk. I like conversating and interacting with my friends and that sort. I do not, however, enjoy or happily participate in interaction for interaction`s sake. The sidelines are the best place for me. I wish I had visual creativity, I could be a filmmaker.

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