Slut

What is a slut?

I suppose it might sound obvious for first, a woman with a high number of past sexual partners. But is it really? And the other thing, why is there a specific shaming word for something that is merely a matter of quantities?

Yes, it obviously is not, otherwise, I would not have asked the question in the first place. I feel like the qualifying factors of the slut depend on the person who is using the word to describe another person. Let me examine this with my own example.

I do not have a high number if sexual partners, therefore I am not supposed to be called a slut, apparently. However, I remember an incident in secondary school, when a female friend referred to a mutual female friend of ours with the word for the reason that she has done all sorts of sexual things – has been to base 1-3 if you will – with her boyfriend of ONLY one month. If this is a qualifying factor then what does the fact that all sexual activity I have ever done in my life has been in relations that were not official, declared relationships, *boyfriends*? Double-slut?

Another thing. For some, a slut is someone who would participate in sexual activity without an emotional connection, just for the pleasure of it. A one night stand, maybe. (On a side note, what is an emotional connection to a sexual partner? Does fancying them count? Or does it have to be love?) One more slut-badge for me.

A slut can also be someone who would give into sex *too easily* or *too early*, potentially as early as a first date. I ticked that box too.

All this means one thing, I can proudly announce to all of you that I am a SLUT. There you go.

To me, the most important definition of slut is someone whose sexuality makes the speaker uncomfortable and therefore triggers them to use a derogatory word. The speaker is most often male and the use of the word comes from their personal dismay for whatever reason, most likely a fragile ego. This is harmful, but even more laughable if I am honest. What truly saddens me is when it comes from other females. We should not be giving into the pressures of offended masculinity. This word exists to shame sexual behaviour or preferences and ultimately relates back to the person who uses it. That said, the arbitrary nature of it means that there are no true qualifying factors apart from the offended speaker, so you can be a virgin, you have probably been called a slut before by someone you rejected.

But they are a dickhead anyway, so do not worry.

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